The Tale of the Tiny Underwear

I'm sorry....I really am. This is probably one of the grossest and most disgusting pictures my mother has ever sent me. And of course, I tell her to send it to my cousin Andy because whom else besides us freaks would enjoy this picture than our cousin Andy.

Oh god, I can't believe I just post this. I will be back right after I finish bleaching my eyes out.

The Masturbater

So how does one get rid of a masturbater on their phone? Do you just wait until it is done? Do you just....send it to someone else and it stops? And "Ride or Die?" Was this from one of her biker friends? So many questions that I don't want the answer to.

The sad part is that the little dude was animated. I spared you all the misery.

Too Hot for Corn

This one isn't as bad but it is kinda cute. Cute because its usually over 100 degrees where she lives.

A Man and His Horse

My mother sent me this one a while back with her saying "Te andan buscando", which means "They are looking for you". Guess she is still searching for a honorable and lovely husband for her daughter (a.k.a. me). By the way, I pixelated the naughty parts. You're a dirty bird for wanting to see the unedited one.

My Mother's Texts

So, my mother has this "thing" where she ADORES sending me or forwarding over text messages to me from her friends. Some are cute, but the majority are pretty raunchy. Risque. As in "clutch your pearls and stay close to the fainting couch" dirrrrrty. So, one commenter on a blog I recent told me I should display these lovely tokens of x-rated treasure to the world. And the Beebs abides. Hope you like them :-)